Feedback and criticism aren’t synonymous, but leaders are often scared to give feedback because they think it’ll sound like criticism.
The problem is when people don’t receive feedback, it’s impossible for them to correct their course and improve.
If you’ve ever played a sport, think back to one of the coaches you had. Did they give you a lot of feedback? Of course! Because they wanted to win.
Likewise, leaders who want a winning team must learn the difference between feedback vs. criticism. At The Metiss Group, we’ve spent the past 30 years teaching leaders how to deliver both positive and course-correcting feedback.
In this article, we’ll learn about workplace feedback vs. criticism and explore The Metiss Group’s proven feedback strategies to foster trust, growth, and high performance within your team.
What is feedback in the workplace?
At its core, feedback in the workplace is simply telling your direct reports how you feel about their performance, which they can use to work toward further improvement.
It’s not just a quarterly performance review. Good leaders give their employees feedback every day or even multiple times a day. It can be as simple as something said in passing, or as formal as a weekly one-on-one.
Three elements make up great feedback:
It’s timely: As soon as you see an employee needs to correct course, tell them.
It’s specific: If you just say “Great job today!” in passing, then your direct report won’t know which great thing they need to keep doing.
It’s future-oriented: Feedback gives employees an opportunity to learn ways to improve in the future.
Feedback can be positive (“Great job on this!”) or course-correcting (“You should take a different direction on this.”). Either way, these three elements should be applied.
Feedback is important because employees want to feel like they’re making a contribution and that they’re doing something good in their role.
But if they don’t know their expectations, they can’t please you or themselves.
What is criticism in the workplace?
Criticism is on the same spectrum as feedback but at the opposite end. Where feedback is rooted in a desire for the employee to excel in their role while growing and learning, criticism seeks to punish or embarrass someone because the leader is unhappy.
Criticism typically manifests as conversations that happen well after the fact, when the employee doesn't have an opportunity to fix their mistakes. It's the boss saying "You really failed during that presentation," even though the boss stood by and watched the presentation in real-time without intervening.
Criticism makes the receiver feel small and the giver feel vindicated, and it’s a fast track to losing great employees who simply need help understanding.
Furthermore, criticism is often very unspecific. It provides no value other than "I think you did poorly." There aren’t any actionable steps the employee can take from that moment, and they're left feeling even more confused than if no criticism had been given.
Why are some leaders scared of giving feedback?
What it often comes down to is that leaders don’t know how to give feedback, so they just don’t.
One thing we’ve often heard leaders say is, “My employees should know I’m happy if I haven’t said anything negative about their work.” As if we can all read minds.
Some leaders just haven’t made it a habit to give feedback. They don’t prioritize it or see its importance, so they forget.
Other leaders blame themselves for their employees’ mistakes. One client at The Metiss Group said perhaps he didn’t set expectations upfront, so he didn’t want to give course corrections since the employee didn’t know what they were supposed to do anyway.
But if that’s the case, and you still don’t give your employee feedback… then your employee still won’t know what to do.
There’s nothing wrong with saying “You know what, I probably didn’t tell you this before, and that’s on me. Let’s hit the reset button. I was looking for something different.”
Pro Tip: It’s perfectly acceptable to tell your employees “Hey, I wasn’t clear in the beginning, but here’s what we need to do next time, or we’re all going to be in a bad spot,” and then proceeding to provide feedback. Taking ownership is an incredibly powerful form of leadership. |
There’s also a heightened sensitivity in the workplace to receiving feedback. Many employees have a negative sense of self, meaning they know they aren’t perfect. So having someone reinforce that doesn’t feel great.
You as a leader can overcome this heightened sensitivity by using The Metiss Group’s four-step model for feedback — keep reading!
Why do some leaders only give criticism?
Remember how earlier we said that some leaders think “My employees should know I’m happy if I haven’t said anything negative about their work”?
Well, the other side of that coin is this: those leaders will only speak up when they have criticisms. “If I’m happy, I won’t say anything. If I’m unhappy, I’ll criticize them.”
Some leaders don’t want to give their employees positive feedback. They think, “If I give them a big head, they’ll want a raise.”
Others worry they will sound patronizing if they give their employees positive feedback. If this is something you’re worried about, here’s our advice: share your intent. Giving context helps people understand your meaning.
And sometimes, employees will only remember the course-correcting feedback. This goes back to that negative sense of self: if they don’t think positively about themselves, then they won’t listen to your positive feedback.
That’s why we recommend a 3:1 ratio of positive to course-correcting feedback. This ensures that your employee remembers the positive things you’ve said to them, and they won’t feel like you’re always critical of their work.
How to turn criticism into feedback
The most important part of turning criticism into feedback is to build a relationship with your employees. Learn their dog’s name. Ask them what their weekend plans are. Make small talk in your one-on-ones.
Why? Because relationships are the foundation of trust, and you can’t have high performance without trust.
Without trust, you and your employees will feel like they’re walking on eggshells as you each give feedback.
Once you’ve built that trust, follow this four-step feedback model:
Start with an introduction using first-person "I" statements.
Describe the behavior.
Describe the impact the behavior is having on others.
Give the person accountability. Say, "What can you do to fix this?" Don't just give them suggestions, or else they might say, "Yeah, but..."
When you put all the pieces together, here’s how it looks:
1- I'm a little concerned because I know you're an incredible leader and would do anything for your team…
2- …but when you're in my team meetings, it appears you don't respect people. There are some things you do, like rolling your eyes or sighing out loud.
3- The impact is that other people feel like you don't want to be there, but they don't want to say anything in case speaking up would put them on the receiving end of those behaviors.
4- So what can you do to change it?
The main takeaway on workplace feedback vs. criticism
By now, you’ve learned that feedback — when it’s timely, specific, and future-oriented — can foster development and create a winning team. In contrast, criticism focuses on the past and leaves employees feeling stuck.
If you’ve been holding back on giving feedback, it’s time to rethink your approach. Avoiding feedback limits your team's potential and their ability to improve.
At The Metiss Group, we understand that effective leadership goes beyond just managing. It’s about accelerating your team’s growth through strategic feedback and trust-building. Our proven practices in The Leadership Essentials Playbook™ are designed to equip leaders like you with the tools you need to drive performance and trust within your team.
Now that you understand the key differences between feedback and criticism, it’s time to explore our 8 Practices for The Leadership Essentials Playbook™.