You’ve got leaders who genuinely want to do right by their teams. They’re working late, making thoughtful decisions, and even trying to be more transparent. And still... Eye rolls happen in the break room. People disengage. Trust slips away.
If you’re scratching your head wondering what else leaders are supposed to do, you’re not alone. Many organizations face this exact frustration: the trust just isn’t sticking. It usually comes back to one thing leaders tend to overlook or under-develop: emotional intelligence.
At The Metiss Group, we help business leaders develop emotional intelligence for themselves and for their team members. Our program, The Emotional Intelligence Journey™, equips your employees with the tools to navigate emotions, enhance decision-making, and drive lasting success in every interaction.
Let’s walk through five key reasons employees stop trusting leadership and how developing EQ can change the game.
1. Leaders Make Decisions That Don’t Make Sense
One week it’s “double down on growth,” the next it’s “cut back on everything.” People get promoted into roles they’re clearly not ready for. Budget priorities flip-flop. And through it all, employees are left wondering: Did anyone actually think this through?
This is a trust-killer hiding in plain sight: erratic or emotionally driven decision-making.
According to The EQ Edge, decision making is a critical component of emotional intelligence. It’s about weighing emotional input without being hijacked by it. When leaders react instead of reflect — when they make choices based on urgency, ego, or anxiety — employees pick up on that fast.
Strong decision makers hit pause before pulling the trigger. They tap into reality testing, another EQ skill, to gut-check their assumptions. They ask, “Is this really the right move based on what we know?” not just “What will make this go away the fastest?”
When leaders slow down, get clear on the facts, and own the emotional side of their choices, they start making decisions that feel grounded. That’s what builds trust: not just being right, but being responsible.
2. Communication Feels One-Sided (Or Nonexistent)
Leadership rolls out a big change. Employees find out secondhand. Or worse, leaders say “We want your input,” but it’s clear the decisions were already made. That’s a fast track to distrust.
The EQ fix here is interpersonal relationships and empathy. Leaders who are emotionally intelligent don’t just talk at their people—they create space for real two-way communication. That means listening without interrupting. It means showing you understand someone’s experience, even if you don’t agree with it.
Compassionate leaders, those who actually care about what their people are going through, are far more effective in building trust. When employees feel heard and valued, they invest more. They contribute more. They stop assuming the worst.
3. Leaders React Instead of Respond
Have you ever worked under a leader who explodes under pressure? Or one who avoids hard conversations altogether? Those are two sides of the same emotionally reactive coin, and they both damage trust.
Here’s where impulse control and stress tolerance come into play. According to The EQ Edge, leaders who manage their emotions well don’t let stress dictate their behavior. They pause. They process. Then they respond calmly and clearly.
This kind of steadiness is what makes people feel safe. When employees trust their leader won’t lose it (or disappear) in a crisis, they stay more grounded themselves. They’re less likely to hide mistakes or tiptoe around problems because they know they won’t get scorched for being honest.
4. Leaders Don’t Seem Genuine
Trust tanks when employees start saying things like, “They’re just saying what they think we want to hear.” Authenticity matters. No one wants to work for a robot. Or worse—a politician.
That’s why emotional self-awareness is so foundational. Leaders who are self-aware know what they’re feeling, why they’re feeling it, and how that’s coming across to others. They don’t pretend to be fine when they’re not. They don’t hide behind corporate-speak. They show up as human beings.
Genuine leadership is magnetic. When people sense their leader isn’t putting on a mask, it creates an opening. A sense of we’re all in this together. That’s where trust starts to grow roots.
5. No One Owns Their Impact
Sometimes leaders do try to connect. They roll out engagement surveys. They do the listening tours. But then? Nothing changes, or worse, they get defensive about the feedback.
This is where self-regard and problem-solving need to step up. Self-regard isn’t about arrogance; it’s about healthy confidence. Leaders with this EQ skill don’t crumble under criticism. They don’t deflect. They take feedback as a signal, not a threat.
Problem solving, meanwhile, allows leaders to address issues without getting tangled in emotion. They see the big picture, take accountability, and take action. That builds credibility. It shows employees: “We hear you. And we’re doing something about it.”
Which, frankly, is all most people want.
6. Employees Need To Work on EQ Too
Sometimes employees are carrying around a full load of emotional weight — stress from work, life, or past experiences with bad bosses — and that tension distorts how they interpret leadership’s actions.
This is where stress tolerance comes into play. Employees with low stress tolerance are more likely to feel overwhelmed, jump to conclusions, and assume the worst. Even thoughtful, well-communicated decisions can feel like personal attacks when someone’s at the edge of burnout.
It doesn’t mean their feelings aren’t valid; it means the emotional bandwidth just isn’t there to process things constructively.
That’s why trust-building has to go both ways. Leaders need to strengthen their own EQ, but so do employees. Teams that work on emotional intelligence together tend to recover trust faster, even in tough seasons.
Building Trust Isn’t About Perks or Perfection
You can throw all the bonuses, free lunches, and wellness apps you want at the trust issue. But if your leaders aren’t developing their EQ, the connection won’t land.
The good news? Emotional intelligence can be developed. With the right structure and support, leaders can improve in the areas where trust is breaking down.
At The Metiss Group, we help our clients do exactly that through The Emotional Intelligence Journey™ program. We help leaders understand their own patterns, practice new behaviors, and build the emotional skills that create real, lasting trust.
Because at the end of the day, people don’t need perfect leaders. They need leaders with empathy, problem-solving skills, and effective decision-making.
Now that you understand why employees don’t trust leadership, the next step is to learn about the challenges with developing emotional intelligence in the workplace.
