The primary resistance we get when encouraging leaders to begin one-on-one meetings with their direct reports is the leader just doesn't have time. The reality is skipping or avoiding your one-on-ones will create more time gobblers from emergencies, to projects off the rails, duplication of efforts, tasks slip between the cracks, and the worst: unexpected resignations of superstars.
It's easy to forget the essential reason for participating in one-on-ones is to establish a relationship with your direct reports. This is not about project status updates. So the fact you are constantly running into your direct reports throughout the day and chatting up with them is not a relationship.
The key is to remember: Relationships are the foundation of trust and high performance cannot be attained without Trust. It all starts with a relationship.
We strongly recommend one-on-ones take place every week for 20 to 30 minutes. Maybe one of the reasons people resist is not knowing what to talk about in these meetings if they aren’t supposed to be about reviewing projects.
I like breaking these meetings into thirds. The first third is bonding and rapport, the second third is business highlights, and the final third is regarding the individual’s development plan.
While probably not admitting this in public, privately, business leaders will push back on this part the most! “This isn’t a good use of my time!” or “I really don’t want to know that much about my direct reports” or nervously, “what if they open up to me with something I’m not legally supposed to know as a manager?”
Remember: If you want to get to high performance, you must establish trust first, and that starts with a relationship!
Do you know the name of your direct reports spouse or significant other? How about the names of their children? Hobbies? Pets? Or whatever is most important to them? Depending on how well you may already know them, you may start at a very light level, and eventually go deeper. Here are some questions to have handy:
Oh, and keep in mind, this is a conversation, not an interrogation, so you may need to share a little of your own information, too!
This isn’t supposed to turn into a project review. This is about highlights.
Consider any developments relative to the business that should be cascaded to your direct report. Have there been any recent wins or concerns at a higher level this employee should know or might find interesting. Have there been recent business messages a direct report might like to ask questions about privately, not in a town hall setting.
One of my favorite questions is: What’s up, where are you stuck? While this isn’t a review of all the projects, you’ll often hear comments like, “well, I’m not stuck yet but…” Great! Let’s take a look at it before it becomes a big problem. Get a feel for how in-depth a problem it is. If it is simple, deal with it in the one-on-one. If it requires more depth of understanding or problem solving, don’t derail the one-on-one, set a time dedicated to that issue and reconnect with your direct report when it doesn’t hijack anyone’s calendar.
This is one of those things that will save you SOOOO much time! When a direct report knows they can count on private time with you each week, they save important, not-urgent matters for that time; they will always find you for the important AND urgent matters. Wouldn’t it be great to have issues brought up for discussion BEFORE they become crises?
Finally, make time to ask how your direct report is coming on your development plan.
EVERY team member has a development plan with a time-based, measurable goal. Even people who come in “to make the donuts” need to be prepared for change and adaptation: new recipes, gluten free, different sprinkles, etc. The key is understanding not all development requires tuition reimbursement. And you as the leader should rarely if ever be the trainer! Your job is to provide encouragement, support, and measure to celebrate progress.
As an example, if someone wants to work on Delegation, that sounds great, but how will you know if they’re working on it or making any progress? If their measurable, time-based goal is they want to delegate 3 projects by the end of the year, delivered on time and on budget without micromanaging, not only do you have a feel for the end game, but you can see progress.
Now there can be time-based, measurable action steps between now and the end of the year that can continue to grow and update. First, by what date should the projects be identified? By what date should the individual to whom the projects are delegated be identified? By what date will they learn the Empowerment Model for delegating projects?
So when you’re asking how your development plans are coming along, they should be able to show you completion dates for the action steps, clearing demonstrating progress. In the absence of a system like this, the answer to “how are you coming on your development plan?” will always be the apathetic “fine.”
The other very important consideration is this doesn’t always need to be a specific work skill. The idea is there are many ways an individual can have a development plan that benefits the company, gives them a sense of accomplishment, keeps their learning skills sharp for times they do need to adapt and learn in the workspace.
Generally we recommend four (4) areas in which team members should focus their development:
Once trust had been established with their direct report, one of our clients took the brave step of expressing concern over an individual executive’s health. He explained he’d witnessed shortness of breath just walking up a short flight of stairs, profuse sweating in weather that was only slightly warm, and he began to worry about the direct report’s health.
Our client encouraged the executive to get a company paid physical exam and create a development plan to make his health a priority. The individual agreed, but didn’t really “have time” for all that so procrastinated a bit. The CEO continued to bring it up in the one-on-ones as a compassionate concern.
The executive finally made an appointment for the exam but before the scheduled appointment, the executive had a massive cardiac incident. He lived, but was out of work for a good 6 months before returning with a new outlook on the importance of his health.
The CEO still regrets not having the courage to bring it up sooner, but said once he did, because he really did care about his team, it wasn’t a difficult conversation to have. You can bet that’s paved the way for even greater conversations in his subsequent one-on-ones.
In The Leadership Essentials Playbook™, how to conduct the one-on-ones is an emphasized technique. We believe it is the number one leadership practice if increased productivity is a desire for your team.